This post is also available in: French
I noticed something about me in the last years. I can’t deal with stress. And I tend to put a lot of it on my shoulders every time I do something. That might have something to do with the way I’ve been raised. I could do anything I wanted but I had to be the Best at it. yep. You can feel the struggle here.
I tend to depreciate myself a lot. You might know this « never good enough syndrome » I’m talking about ? I’m never good enough. I always look up to very successful people and I compare myself to them and I feel like I will never be able to get there. I’m scared of everything. I’m so stressed out, all the time.
I wish I could be this somehow successful 35 years old girl I dreamt so much to be. I feel a bit stuck in my life right now. I’ m single. No kids. I don’t really know what to do with my life at this point. Due to my current health issues with my ankle I dont know if I will be able to keep doing my job. I had a significant cut in my salary due to my work restrictions.
Dont get me wrong. I feel very grateful for all the things I have, my family, my friends, a roof, a room, a bed, clothes, food, a job etc etc etc… I feel truly blessed. I am just a bit worrying about the future. I always found a way to get back on my feet in my past, I am just a bit clueless about the next move to make.
I feel a bit stuck. I feel frustrated with my ankle and my body that are not willing to cooperate with me. In January it will be 2 years that I broke my ankle and I feel a bit discouraged. There is nothing much that I can do than I already do : treatments, physical therapy, meds.
I’m trying to remember what I was good at and what I loved doing when I was a kid. I mostly used to draw and to read. I was a pretty introvert kid. I realized how much I wanted and still wish to be an extrovert.
How much I wish I was a people person. The truth is I am struggling to connect with people. I am not a people person. I am not doing good with big group of people. I am more comfortable in small groups. I hate small talks. I don’t know how people can manage to do it. I always feel that I’m living on another planet, totally disconnected from the world I am living in.
Accepting the fact that I will never be this really fashionably, pretty, skinny trendy girl with the perfect house or apartment interior decoration.
Accepting the fact that I need solitude and silence.
Accepting that there is so much things in our lives that we can’t control and that sometimes we just need to go with the flow and deal with it.
Accepting that people are not necessarily who you want them to be.
Accepting that life goes on.
Accepting that everything is not black or white.
I started accepting myself as who I am and not trying to be someone I am not. Accepting the fact than the person I wish I was is just not me. Trying to be myself and not the person that people are expecting me to be.
This cranberry coulis is part of another project that I planned on posting this week (fingers crossed the week is not over yet ). Maybe you could guess what is it? I really had to make three attempts before getting it right. For the main reason that I forgot that cranberries tend to” jellify” somehow.
So I ended up with some good cranberry jelly but way too thick for his purpose. I have to admit that I’m in love with it. It is sweet and tangy. It has the perfect texture. Not too thick, not too Runny. It would be a perfect addition to cheesecakes, pavlovas, ice creams, well, Sky is the limit.
I’m a big fan of Raspberry coulis and this baby is as good as it. I am hooked. I will do it every year now. I know it. Let me know what you think. Have you ever tried to make cranberry coulis before? And are you more an extrovert or an introvert ?
- 2 Cups ( 210g / 7.4 oz ) cranberries, fresh or frozen
- ½ Cup ( 100g / 3.5 oz ) sugar
- 1 Cup ( 250ml / 8.8 oz) water
- 1 vanilla pod, grated
- Combine all the ingredients in a saucepan.
- Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat and let it simmer for about 15 minutes, until all the cranberry have popped.
- Try to smash the cranberries as much as you can.
- Remove from heat and run through a coarse strainer set over a bowl, pressing hard to extract as much liquid as possible.
- Scrape the puree that will be stuck on the back of the strainer. Discard cooked cranberries left in the strainer.
- Let it cool.